Do you ever feel the desire to get up on the  roof on the highest building you can find and just stand there and scream? Scream so loud that children will clutch their parents, animals will cower indoors, scientists won't even assume its a human noise their hearing? I do. I've been filled with so many difficult emotions for so long it feels like Im about to explode. 

Instead of looking for the beauty in the world I can only see the darkness of it all, the superficial and selfish qualities a good percentage of people possess. The cloudy days where the sun refuses to come out making the trees look dead as if they too have given up hope. I want to look around and see the beauty again. See all the possibilities and dreams I thought were possible when I was a child. See the joy and love we all had for each other. 

 Remember the days before texting and facebook obsessions began? When you actually had to have face to face conversations? When you were nervous to say "I love you" because one look on the persons face could tell if that person truly loved you back? Now, its all just "ily" and "lol". I cant even remember the last time I've had a true conversation with someone that wasn't through texting. 

 Maybe its just NYC, who knows. I've never been much of a city person anyhow, But I can no longer find any beauty here. I feel like im drowning, surrounded by too many people who seem like mechanical robots. Everytime im waiting for a train or an elevator now it seems like all i see is people with their heads down burried into their cell phones; barely even present with reality and more interested in a virtual world thats not even real. This is the downside to technology. 

When you're on your death bed do you think you will contemplate about all the times you've logged on facebook?, liked a status? Or will your family and real friends be more important?...

I think now would be the perfect time for a road trip; just a few days to clear my mind, get everything back in perspective and find what i really want out of life. If only life were that easy that one could just get up and go. But its not so ill settle for posting my thoughts and feelings on here :).